For the Jaded

LOVE: What is it?
This is the best definition I've heard. Love is when BOTH of you think you're "dating up".
In other words, you feel as though you're getting someone better than you deserve. You think you're getting away with something. Or, as Artie Shaw was quoted as saying, "Love is an agreement between two people to overestimate each other." Brilliant.
But it absolutely has to be mutual.
I can't stress this enough. And the only way to tell is through ACTIONS. Are they acting like they wouldn't rather be anywhere besides with you?
This is the basis of respect and it's the only thing that will keep a relationship together the next time some 19-year-old with tight buns smiles at one of you. Love isn't the romantic crap they spout on TV-movies or in Romance novels. Because no one can read your mind well enough to provide that. Love is a partnership with sex thrown in for fun. Love is not about "completing" someone. It's not a healthy relationship unless both of you are fully formed, well-adjusted adults already. And it's not about "needs". It's about "wants". If you really need someone, maybe you're a little too desperate and should seek serious counseling. Wanting someone is a conscious decision. It's selfish, but in a healthy way. Just don't kid yourself that you're in love when you're not sure the other person feels the same way. If they do, you might be. If they don't, you aren't.
You'll recognize Love because it will be unlike anything you've ever experienced. That's why people say, you'll know. Because you will. (You must then, by definition, not marry the first person you date or you'll have no basis for comparison...)

HOW TO DEAL WITH MEN:
Men see sex like you see food. They want to try everything on the buffet, every chance they get. (Some guys won't cop to wanting to try everything, but that's only cuz they're lying or they don't think they have the ability to get it.) In the same way that you'd love to always eat, men would like to always have sex. And like you, men will do what they can to get their fix. It's just more difficult for men, because no one sells McHookers yet.
Now, we're not suggesting you take an adversarial stance in your dealings with guys. Just know what you're up against. Movies offer an image of people that is too simplistic. Women are either cast as whores or Madonnas (referring to the mother of Jesus, not the slutty celebrity), and guys are depicted as either obnoxious jerks or too shy. Life ain't like that.
Lots of jerks are often really nice to girls they like and lots of nice guys would dump you in a second if Tyra Banks asked them out. In a civilized society, guys seem indefensible. Pigs from day one. But why is that considered bad? That same relentless lust, when pointed your way, may be kinda cool. But if they're all pigs, how can you keep a man?
You can't. Not even with silicone breast implants. Nothing on the outside will make a guy stay true. Guys only stay with girls they like personally. Focus on your looks and you'll be out on the street the next time a better looking girl walks by. Make men kiss your sweet ass.
You can't force a relationship to work. It either does or it doesn't. Instead of working on your relationship, work on making yourself the best “you” you can be. Develop interests. (For example: Do you like sports? Learn about sports. Subscribe to Sport Illustrated.) Learn a skill. Get really good at something, because everybody likes a winner.
But be yourself.

HOW GUYS THINK. Sort of.
One of the greatest things we've ever read about men appeared in a Jules Pfeiffer cartoon. It read approximately, "Men don't hate women. Men need women. Men hate needing women."
Kinda makes you think. No? Well it should...



Courtesy of: www.relationshit.com