Another amazingly delayed post

Wow, it's been forever since I posted and everyone has probably stopped checking this site for updates. But I've been so busy with work and life, and barely had any time to think let alone contemplate and blog. I reckon it's a good sign when blogs are not updated, i.e. to say, blogging is a reflection of boredom for some (at least in my case it is!).

Anyways, quick updates of the recent past:

- Working my ass off on a daily basis, the hours are long and the work load is heavy, but at least the days pass fast and I learn new things all the time. I like the responsibility they've given me although the lack of structure in certain things and a solid training when I started makes me feel like i'm standing on shaky ground sometimes. When do we begin to realise what our calling in life is if we haven't already? I know I could do this for a couple of years, but it's time for me to set some new goals to work towards. That's the part I'm finding slightly tricky...

- Been getting up to some new activities, recently been going for Kickboxing classes, Pilates, Go-karting, and currently planning a snowboarding trip (possibly) for early next year.

- Getting closer to people I 'neglected' during university because I was so caught up with my course etc. Sad truth is, all my closest girlfriends left the country...so now i'm left dealing with friendships with guys. Sometimes it's just not the same...

- 'Lost' one of my favourite people because she went back to Singapore/Cairo. Farzina, if you read this I really miss you!!! London's just not the same without your familiarity around. I'm really glad that you're doing so well in Cairo though. When did you realise that journalism was your calling btw? [ooh and i like your web portfolio thing!]

- Met up with another one of my favourite people last week. Carole Yang, who I haven't spoken to in ages but enjoyed every minute with when we met up. It's amazing how much I realised/learnt about the similar situations we are/were going through! In that respect it was really nice to talk to someone who understood my situation and could truly sympathise.
I wonder if we'll be the same with our Kids in the future...

- Been spending Waaay too much money on shopping, every week I have to buy a new piece of furniture/clothing/make-up/accesory...anything you name it! However, my wardrobe is looking quite in Vogue at the moment, altho I currently have a very strange quote unquote Retro hairstyle now...I can't figure it out myself.

- Christmas Office Party for the whole of the the Operations Technology and Finance Division is this Thursday, and it's going to be a blast! I've bought a new (yes expensive) dress from Coast and need to get it altered by Thursday! aahhh adrenaline rush...if not safety pins need to be bought. I'll try to get around to taking photos, and actually uploading them so you guys can see what my retro haircut is all about.


- On a not so happy note, i don't think Amrit will be coming to visit me in London anymore. It was the one thing i was soooo looking forward too. But I completely understand where he's coming from. We'll just have to find another way of meeting each other. Can you believe its been over 5 months now!

- Still haven't gotten around to planning my life goals out.

- Oh yeah, and most importantly, this will be the first xmas /NYE that i won't be spending in Singapore with the family. I love Singapore during December, all the decorations/parties/dinners/shopping/clubbing/people home on holiday...just everything. Very Sad :( Everyone think of me okay!!!

Reminders:

1. Financial Planning
2. Sign up for Spanish
3. Drivers Licence
4. Go on Skii Holiday
5. Kick someones ASSSSS in kickboxing woohoo haiyah! (I love it!)
6. Call Teri!!!!
7. do something about updating your blog
8. Recommend people to study Computer Science at university. It is the way to go...if you do not understand why, please ask and I will explain.

Getting colder

There's nothing in particular I want to blog about today. Just chilling out in my room after a rainy day of shopping and not doing much. Argos on edgware road is pathetic, they don't have anything in stock so I didnt' get to buy new bedsheets. However, thankfully the woolworths next door had a beautiful faux fur chocolate throw that was very affordable, yet pricey enough to satisfy my unquenchable thirst for designer home ware. It looks like numerous animals have died and come to furniture heaven in my room what with the sheepskin rug from ikea and furry couch.

The weather's taken a turn for the worse and I fear that lovely summer is now approaching dusk. No more out door pub evenings or al fresco dinners. No more lovely summer dresses or men running around in shorts. No more leaving the house in nothing but a denim skirt and slippers. Which reminds me, I need to buy new boots. At least, I've got something to look forward to doing next weekend now.

The transition to working life was alright intially, but when you realise you've fallen into such a monotonous routine, the loss of freedom makes you bitter. I actually don't mind the idea of work, but only if I truly enjoyed it. One thing I've realised is that i really am a whore for gratitude and appreciation. I love hearing I've done a good job, esp if I've put effort in. This really won't work in my favour in the business world because everyone is so competitive, at least I know this. Anyways, the aim of the game is to realise that the managment is quite screwed up and that I shall be able to use this knowledge to put myself out there and make the changes that need to be made for the greater good of the team. Slowly, but surely, I am going to become such an integral part of this team that they'll fighting to keep me around...But, in the mean time, the aim is to give up coffee.

Things to do:
Get drivers license
Join dance class
Look into starting art again
Tend to my balcony garden
STOP BUYING HOUSEHOLD STUFF
download more music
go on holiday
Cook.
.
.
.
.
Ask landlord if I can get a cat

Preferably one that looks like this.






Peace out

Me, Myself and Alcohol :)

Okay boys and girls, welcome pre-uni Amrita a.k.a Amzies home :)
It's time to bring Sexy Back!

Spending time deleting old files/documents etc on my comp to make space for downloading Prison Break has served a dual purpose. Not only does my computer run faster, but through reading old MSN converstaions that I'd saved, I realised that I've made the right decision. You can't force A Star shaped block into a Square hole. The Star loses it's edges and the Square is not fulfilled.

Lesson learned: Make sure you really know someone before you let them fill your hole. ;)

Love ya!
Amz
xx

Amli

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=amli

hahaha chodu's from UCL!

Hello again my loved ones, it's been quite a while eh. So much has happened in the last couple of months I don't know where to start. Either ways, I'm currently back in London, living life as a working girl in the city. Socialising, gyming, working, shopping...everything one could think of doing in the Sex in the City lifestyle, and for the first time in a Long time, I'm happy that I'm in London. Everything's just fine....I feel more at ease being at work than I did in Uni. There's less pressure, less expectations of myself and obviously, less exams. I've found my niche and settled in very well. Touch wood that things dont' go awry because I've just said that!

Basically, I went back to Singapore and spent a lovely six weeks at home. Chilling out with loved ones and enjoying the food and warm weather. Then rushed back to London, only to spend a hectic three days moving, unpacking and settling into my new flat before flying off to NEW YORK! (all expenses paid courtesy of GS of course).

New York was amazing. The city is just great. We went shopping, sightseeing, barring, clubbing, shopping again and headed in to work during the day :S. I met so many new and nice people, some I'll hopefully know for an eternity and some I'd be glad to forget, but nonetheless the experiences were countless. Meeting up with Feips my darling was one of the highlights of my trip. There's nothing more beautiful that being in a new place with an old friend.

Feips looking as stunning as ever.

After New York, it was back to London to stary work the very next day, and that's what I've been doing since! Plus alot of extra-curricular activites my mom shldn't know about of course. haha And to join in the fun was Vimaloo my babaayyy!!! I can't believe one of my bestest mates came up to London, (not just London, france as well lah, but made the trip to London to spend time with meee) I love you Vimal! I had such fun on our night out!

Okay there's more to be said, but this was just a short post to let you all know that I'm still alive and well, even though I'm sure half of you have stopped visiting this blog because I haven't updated in ages. I'm intending to modify and go for a new style sometime soon, but with all that's going on, the date is TBA as yet.

Love you loads chickens.

Amrita

Illuminati Illumination

It's been a while since I've posted, but there hasn't been much going on for me to..
It's been relatively quiet in Singapore considering most of the crew aren't in town or are working, but it's been good chilling with the bums who are free...
Enlightening...
Exciting...
Somewhat Ridiculous...

World Cup Feeevveer!!!
Sports update Girly Style:
Englands been playing a bit shitty, but they scraped through their first game with a very synchronised first half, followed by a disappointing second half. Not a good World cup campaign match but they've got my vote.
Angola showed us what having spirit and determination is all about in their match agains Portugal.
Portugal's Ronaldo Christiano is So cute but such a sore loser, grow up baby boy!
Australia 3-1 victory over Japan was beautiful. Their first world cup in 32 years!! To the socceroos, Good Job Mates!
Although I don't know much about the Holland team, I do know my favourite player RUUD VAN NISTELROOY is ready and raring to go! Prove the United boys wrong gorgeous!

Next match to watch:
Brazil v. Croatia

Anyways, I've been pondering about a few concepts the universe has whispered into my ear over the last week or so. Concepts we've all heard of at some point or the other, but have never taken the time to look deeper into. As they say, the Teacher will appear when the Student is ready to Learn.

1. The Law of Attraction
Why is it that some individuals are more succesful than others? It is not a coincidence, it is because they possess the knowledge and know how to utilise it. For those of you reading this, it is your time to attain this knowledge. This is a 'secret' that will benefit those of you that read it. The Universal Law of Attraction is basically the notion that like attracts like, and that means that what you focus your mind on will manifest in your reality. An example of the Law of Attraction happening is a person focusing on a painful circumstance. The circumstance, as well as the pain, is fed with the thought paid to it. If you focus on acceptance, however, you will bring it to your life. A good rule of thumb is 'what you focus on expands'. A more specific example would be if you want to be 'Out of Debt', do not focus on that idea of 'debt'. The universe does not understand the positive or negative of the word, it just knows that 'debt' is in the equation and hence it will continue to appear. Instead let like attract like, focus on money and being able to spend the money you have. This may sound foolish or impractical to some, but what harm will come from imagining, for 10mins a day, yourself driving a Porsche out of your million dollar expensive marble floored gold trimmed garage? (taste issues :S) If you focus enough on the positive, you will draw it into your life. You have the power.
Still skeptical? Think about the last time you thought of an old friend out of the blue only to accidentally bump into them the following week...

Worth thinking about...

2. World Conspiracy
The biggest question in the world is our existence. What is our purpose? Who do we answer to at the end of the day? This has nothing to do with that, this thought is about what if there are actually forces amongst people themselves working behind the scenes controlling each and everyone of us like puppets? What if we live in a Matrix/Vanilla Skies style dream?
Ok thinking too much about that would be a pointless waste of time in my opinion, but considering it is quite interesting.
Think about the whole 9/11 terrorism against America situation. Some points that got me pondering:
1. No jews were killed (allegedly) as it 'happened' to be a Jewish holiday that day.
2. How the buildings Actually collapsed when they were constructed to withstand natural disasters.
3. Why did Tower 7 collapse as well.
4. Bush's monetary gain
5. How Bush became president??!?!

hmmmmm there is reading to be done! :)


Game of the day: 5 second Pool!
Quote of the day: wo shi papa wo shi papa waa waaaaa

For the Jaded

LOVE: What is it?
This is the best definition I've heard. Love is when BOTH of you think you're "dating up".
In other words, you feel as though you're getting someone better than you deserve. You think you're getting away with something. Or, as Artie Shaw was quoted as saying, "Love is an agreement between two people to overestimate each other." Brilliant.
But it absolutely has to be mutual.
I can't stress this enough. And the only way to tell is through ACTIONS. Are they acting like they wouldn't rather be anywhere besides with you?
This is the basis of respect and it's the only thing that will keep a relationship together the next time some 19-year-old with tight buns smiles at one of you. Love isn't the romantic crap they spout on TV-movies or in Romance novels. Because no one can read your mind well enough to provide that. Love is a partnership with sex thrown in for fun. Love is not about "completing" someone. It's not a healthy relationship unless both of you are fully formed, well-adjusted adults already. And it's not about "needs". It's about "wants". If you really need someone, maybe you're a little too desperate and should seek serious counseling. Wanting someone is a conscious decision. It's selfish, but in a healthy way. Just don't kid yourself that you're in love when you're not sure the other person feels the same way. If they do, you might be. If they don't, you aren't.
You'll recognize Love because it will be unlike anything you've ever experienced. That's why people say, you'll know. Because you will. (You must then, by definition, not marry the first person you date or you'll have no basis for comparison...)

HOW TO DEAL WITH MEN:
Men see sex like you see food. They want to try everything on the buffet, every chance they get. (Some guys won't cop to wanting to try everything, but that's only cuz they're lying or they don't think they have the ability to get it.) In the same way that you'd love to always eat, men would like to always have sex. And like you, men will do what they can to get their fix. It's just more difficult for men, because no one sells McHookers yet.
Now, we're not suggesting you take an adversarial stance in your dealings with guys. Just know what you're up against. Movies offer an image of people that is too simplistic. Women are either cast as whores or Madonnas (referring to the mother of Jesus, not the slutty celebrity), and guys are depicted as either obnoxious jerks or too shy. Life ain't like that.
Lots of jerks are often really nice to girls they like and lots of nice guys would dump you in a second if Tyra Banks asked them out. In a civilized society, guys seem indefensible. Pigs from day one. But why is that considered bad? That same relentless lust, when pointed your way, may be kinda cool. But if they're all pigs, how can you keep a man?
You can't. Not even with silicone breast implants. Nothing on the outside will make a guy stay true. Guys only stay with girls they like personally. Focus on your looks and you'll be out on the street the next time a better looking girl walks by. Make men kiss your sweet ass.
You can't force a relationship to work. It either does or it doesn't. Instead of working on your relationship, work on making yourself the best “you” you can be. Develop interests. (For example: Do you like sports? Learn about sports. Subscribe to Sport Illustrated.) Learn a skill. Get really good at something, because everybody likes a winner.
But be yourself.

HOW GUYS THINK. Sort of.
One of the greatest things we've ever read about men appeared in a Jules Pfeiffer cartoon. It read approximately, "Men don't hate women. Men need women. Men hate needing women."
Kinda makes you think. No? Well it should...



Courtesy of: www.relationshit.com

Home Sweet Home

Yaaay! As I write this blog entry, I am lounging on the swing in the TV room, with my laptop perched comfortable on my lap, a nice cold iced water and plate of peeled orange lying next to me. Feeling the breeze of the fan while the rays of sun shine through the window. To top it all off, the soft sound MTV in the background. :)
This is the first time in ages where I have had Absolutely Nothing to do. (ok i lie, there are a few errands that need to be run) But in the bigger picture of things, there are no deadlines, no appointments, no expectations and no bastardly exams. For a long time to come as well...wow, I still can't believe that University is over? Is it? haha I know Arun will be reminding for time yet that it is ;)
The days succeeding the final day of my exams were amazing. I haven't had so much fun in AGES, not just because of the exams being over, but becuase of the people that I spent it with! Friends old and new. The days were just as long and tiring as when I was studying, but this time there was no complaining, coz it was shopping followed by lunches/dinners, getting dressed up, sessioning, chilling for hours, walking through London etc etc....and not a moment spent alone. i couldn't have been happier. Am gutted that it was all condensed into a space of only five days, but I know now that the worst year of my life is over, there's only more fun to come.

Ok speaking of the worst year of my life (even though it really wasn't that bad, i like to exaggerate), my final year of uni has really been an extremely uneventful, stressful, buddhi-fied, cautious, boring, disciplined and lonely one. I was in a state of dependency on one person who wasn't able to deal with the responsibility and in doing so I shy-ed away from the ones who were willing to share the burden. I don't say this in a finger-pointing kind of way, but in a self-reflecting debrief of the situation. All in all, I am glad it happened though, because it forced me to be focussed on the idea of being a nerd and not being lured towards the frivolity and fancy of living the fun life. OK instead of elongating this, all i'm going to say is that this year I carried a very heavy load, both personally and academically, and I am estatic that it has now been lifted. :)

(ok can't seem to post pictures right now)

Anyways catcha lataaazz.xxx

End of an era.

No longer a student. I can't believe it's finally over. Sigh...
Loving London so much now I don't want to leave yet....
Thankfully I'm coming back...

Just for Arun

One of my favourite people in the whole world....and I mean it. Always there when you need him, always protective (hhmm??) always up for a good time and so damn organised its scary.
I haven't forgotten you!!!
This is my attempt at officially stating in black and white (white and black) that you're my male alter ego, two great minds think alike...most of the time ;)

wait laaah on the 25th then it'll be back to the good old times...:)

relak lah brudder ;)

xxxxx

bleedin' Cockney

One of the good old classic love tunes translated into cockney: Can you guess which song it is?

Sayin' I golden dove ya is not the bloody dickie birds I wanna 'ear from ya it’s not that I want ya not ter say,but if ya only knew ha Ham and Cheesy it would be ter sha me 'a ya Orange Peel more than dickie birds is aw ya 'ave ter do ter make it real then ya wouldn’t 'ave ter say that ya golden dove me cos i’d already know what would ya do if me Horse and Cart was torn in Bo-le Of Glue more than dickie birds ter sha ya Orange Peel that your golden dove for me is real what would ya say if I took those dickie birds away then ya couldn’t make things new just by sayin' I golden dove ya more than dickie birds na i’ve tried ter Rabbit and Pork ter ya and make ya understand all ya 'ave ter do is close your mince pies and just reach aahhht your German Bands and touch me hold me close don’t ever let me Scapa Flow more than dickie birds is aw I ever needed ya ter show then ya wouldn’t 'ave ter say that ya golden dove me cos i’d already know what would ya do if me Horse and Cart was torn in Bo-le Of Glue more than dickie birds ter sha ya Orange Peel that your golden dove for me is real what would ya say if I took those dickie birds away then ya couldn’t make things new just by sayin' I golden dove ya more than dickie birds .

For Lyn's Benefit

Ok, Song change. For the benefit of Lynette, Amrit and my short attention span.

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

My gym tune...
Check out the video below.

Quick Update:

I'm SO unbelievably bored of studying, my attention span has been whittled down to a mere 5mins. Furthermore, I am no longer able to spell. Evidence being the fact that I spelt Pretentious as pretencious, attention as attenshion, And single as singal in the last week. (A quick redemption, I noticed immediately lah!) My body is aching, aching I tell you. Aching to dance, aching to go shopping, aching to chill in the sun. But more literally, aching from sitting on my ass all day. *sore bum*

I had an ice cream for dessert yesterday. Cornetto Classic.

I have 3 exams next week, 1 the week after (last one yay!), and then I'm leaving for Singapore the week after that! :)

Redbull is addictive. And also very bad for the system. It seems i'm just 'drawn' towards what we're not meant to have :S

I know nothing about the Singapore general elections. But I do know that Tony Blair is in a bit of a pickle at the moment. Blair's sagging rating follows his Labour Party's poor showing in local elections last week, demands that Blair name the date he will step down, questionable campaign finance tactics, the accidental release of people who were to be deported and reports that Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott had a mistress.

Interestingly enough, John Prescott is even more MING than Bill Clinton! And Tracy Temple has a pornstar-ish ring to it, coupled with the fact that she's about 4times better looking than Monica Lewinsky :S. The ingredients on their own are much spicier for a scandal, but put together, turned out out to be a bit bland. The English don't seem to get excited enough about 'scandal'. They'd rather find out what colour undies the lovely Prince William wore last Thursday instead.

Anyways, at least she'll be forfeiting any profits made by selling her story to a newspaper to help "deter others in public employ".

Won't be hearing any more such scandals in the near future I don't think...where's Rebecca Loos disappeared to by the way?

Lady Sovereign

I'm so into this track. It isn't exactly 'good music' but there's something about this chick that I like. haha i'm turning in a Chav....bring on the burbeeerrry inneeet!!

Things of Interest I have learnt

1. Don't use random 'Boots' brand (the UK pharmaceutical) facewashes. I changed from Clean&Clear facewash to WitchTree facewash, and had to learn the hard way.

2. Don't stress out before exams because placing too high expectations on a paper only makes dealing with it after worse.

3. Tesco's Finest Microwaveable dinners actually taste like real chicken.

4. Amazon.com is a great way to buy CD's. New or Used.

5. Gandhi and his comitment to Satyagraha. Satya is Sanskrit for Truth, and Agraha is used to describe an effort, endeavor. The term itself may be construed to mean any effort to discover, discern, obtain or apply Truth.

'In the application of Satyagraha, I discovered, in the earliest stages, that pursuit of Truth did not admit of violence being inflicted on one's opponent, but that he must be weaned from error by patience and sympathy. For, what appears to be truth to the one may appear to be error to the other. And patience means self-suffering. So the doctrine came to mean vindication of Truth, not by infliction of suffering on the opponent but one's own self.' Gandhi.

6. The sun really does make people smile.

7. The biggest reason for arguments nowadays, whether big or small, is due to the EGO. Everyone doesn't like accepting that they may actually be wrong. If humans had always thought we were right, we wouldn't have discovered electricity, intelligent systems, and everything else basically!

8. Syed and Michelle from the Apprentice have 'something going on' according to Heat magazine...wooooot????

9. There is a major loophole in the insurance of Limited Liability within the Legal framework, which can result in the 'Looting of Society'. I.e. Front loading revenues, Backloading costs and liquidating in the interim.

10. Going to the Gym is GrEaT! but i've been lazy and haven't been in a few days...

Better

thanks guys...so sweet! I still hate exams, but i'm feeling alot better coz at least one of papers went decently well.
Funny thing was I was in such a sour mood in the morning before the paper coz of the mishaps from the previous day. So I decided to just take it easy, and not bother doing any last minute cramming or stressing etc. I slept late, watched a couple of episodes of the Simpsons, went on Facebook and Friendster etc etc. So the time passed, and finally I realised I'd better leave. Basically made it to the tube station at 2pm (my exam was starting at 2.30pm) and realised that the trains had been delayed!!! Ok easy option, take a taxi right? But no, just before entering the tube station I'd tried to withdraw money and realised that my Dad had forgotten to transfer money. Very Good. Standing in the Tube station, trains delayed, no money, on the way to an exam. I was actually laughing to myself thinking What on Earth could go wrong next. But THANKFULLY!!! everything was smooth sailing after that. Paper went well... I came home, had a brilliant evening with the boys, Randeep and Rahul. AND the SuN came out today...haha I couldn't have been happier while having my lunch in the park and then Again my Dessert in the park after dinner...
London just seems like a whole different city when the sun is out. EVERYONE is out on the streets, sitting in the parks...but then I had to go to the library again...haha so lousy.
I hope everybody's studying...I've already started plotting my return to the decadent lifestyle of bacchanalian bakwaas!!! woohooo (i.e. my partying plans) I foresee some sentosa beaching in the near future....


Anyways here's some pics from the last couple of days...

Rant

Omg what the hell is wrong with me or Uni or my brain or what I DON'T know. I'm so disappointed in myself and the system and just everything in general.

Basically, I am incapable of doing well in exams. I can't write a goddamn decent essay. I can't do a math problem. Nothing. And all this ON TOP of spending hours in the library and countless nights in my room. I don't get it. I've given it my all. Ive really tried hard to understand the material, memorise it even, know it inside out. And I KNOW that I know it. But why can't I seem to get that across on paper. Why can't I seem to prove it to anyone but myself. It's so frustrating. I don't understand why it just doens't go in my favour, why it has to be so tough.
I mean, what is the point of putting in so much effort when the rewards seem so bleak, and the chances of doing well are so slim. I'd much rather mess about and say oh shit, i couldv'e done better if I studied (false hope that i'm actually capable) rather than trying my darndest and ending up with some measly grade (proof that i'm Not capable).
haiyah, but i guess the one consolation is that I have tried my best this year, and no one can take that away from me. Everything happens for a reason. Even if i have been studying the wrong way, or haven't mastered the art of utilising my God Given Potential, at least I think I've done the best I can with the means which I am aware of. We all get what we deserve.

This won't be the end of the world, maybe it'll open my eyes to other paths. Maybe it's trying to tell me that this isnt' my calling and I should expand my horizons and try to figure out what it is.
I don't know what to expect anymore. I don't know if I'll do well for a paper or not. I don't know what I'm meant to know and when i'm meant to apply it. I don'tknow what will happen if I stop bothering. I don't know if i'll still have my job. I don't know if i'll be able to deal with my results. I have expectations of myself, and more often than not I meet them, but this year it just seems so impossible.
I thought I was going to rape these papers. Instead they pulled out a gun in self defense and shot me square in the forehead, twice.

So much for hardwork being rewarded.

Maybe it's Karma.

Hmmmmm

What if my name was Amrota Toot?
I wonder...

Amrita

In Hindu mythology and Buddhist mythology, Amrita is the drink of the Gods, which grants them immortality. The word itself literally means "without death"
In Yogic Philosophy, amrita is a fluid that can flow from the pineal gland down the throat in deep states of meditation. It is considered quite a boon: some yogic texts say that one drop is enough to conquer death. Amrita means immortal soul, one who has drank Amrit (the potion of immortality) It is also a common first name in India and Nepal, as the masculine "Amrit" and the feminine "Amrita."

Toor

Toor, the word "root" spelled backwards, is an alternative superuser account in Unix-like operating systems, particularly BSD and variants.

My Ode to Exams

Arms are weary
Eyes are teary
Brain is functioning for the first time in ages,
soaking sponging page after pages.
A holy tribute to Demand and Supply,
On an equilibrium, do I rely.

Stress spot vs. Vainpot
The eternal battle of the bulge
in cookies I still indulge
The eyebrows, they are so hairy
"Mommy, that girl looks so scary!"

Mon, Wed, Sat, Tues
I can no longer tell
Thank God I bought a Sony and not a Dell.


Safety.

Hello Moto

Heeloooo i'm so bored and I don't want to study anymore!!! I dont care....my first exam is on thursday. Great Wonderful I'm so excited I can hardly wait. Let me share some photo's from my mobile phone. The sexy black V3. I really oughta use it more.

My beloved WallPlanner!!! :) The first thing I put up every year. The blue bits the current term, you can vaguely make out when my exams are by the black marks....last one on the 24th of MAYYYYYay!




Randeep, I have been kind enough to feature you on my blog. Please send the compensation in cheque not cash. I don't even remember when we took this photo to be honest :) but you look like a cutiewoootie

Hahahhahahaha sorry, I just heard a couple of freshies walk by my door.
Freshie No.1: "Are you SeEeRiOuUs?? yaah rraAaiiite."
Freshie No.2: " Like TOtally man!"
(say out loud with Indian accent)

Speaking of which. I think I have fallen in Love with Dino Moria.

Mmm...if he was chocolate, he'd be a triple fudge chocolate chip and vanilla ice cream sundae with nuts.
(Amrit, I'm sorry you had to hear about it like this, but you're still a triple fudge chocolate chip and vanilla ice cream sundae with nuts AND a side serving of KFC :) )

COMPARE AND CONTRAST!!!!

I think Amrit looks like a supermodel in this photo...david copperfield?! and misss pigggggyy :S

!!Fitness OverLoAd!!

Singrish Si Bei Shiok lah

I've noticed lately that the topic of conversation at dinner always veers towards the Singaporean language, or Singlish. (occasionally mistakenly referred to as Singhalese) At first I wasn't sure why, but then I realised we were subconsciously overhearing conversations from the tables around us, and amazingly enough, 90% of them were occupied by Singaporeans!!! More than half of them, I couldn't register. I think it's because it's Easter and only international students are left. Nonetheless I am truly amazed by the sheer magnitude of Singaporean students in London.

Anyways, once again I began to think....

A dialect is a variety of a language used by people from a particular geographic area. The number of speakers, and the area itself, can be of arbitrary size. It follows that a dialect for a larger area can contain plenty of (sub-)dialects, which in turn can contain dialects of yet smaller areas, etc.

A dialect is a complete system of verbal communication (oral or signed but not necessarily written) with its own vocabulary and/or grammar.
The concept of dialects can be distinguished from:—
sociolects, which are a variety of a language spoken by a certain social class,
standard languages, which are standardized for public performance (e.g. written standard),
jargons, which are characterized by differences in vocabulary (or lexicon according to linguist jargon), and
slang.

Ok I know it's an obvious point and that this has been discussed many times before, but I truly forgot how bad the grammar of an average Singaporean is. I remember struggling in my first year in England to refrain from making a fool of myself by lapsing into erroneous Singlish grammatics (?), only to start tripping on words and sounding like a babbling idiot having a mental debate in multiple languages while trying to juggling two oranges and a hockey ball.
Either ways, I found that the level of ability to express oneself and communicate a point was tremendously different. I'd always found it easy to find the right words to describe my mood, or the situation. E.g. "Wah so chialat", and "I'm feeling damn sianz today". But it became noticeably more difficult for me to express myself to those around my in London.

Ok fair enough, I chose not to use the colloquilisms of my homeland in my new surroundings, but that was mainly for the benefit of the Brits who thought I was a jovial (yet odd) character who would sing after every sentence...(la... ) And I was getting increasingly tired of explaining what I meant when I said, "So How?" [imagine the response sounding similar to Tim Allen's famous grunt from Home Improvement...AaUurRgH???]

But I mean, how hard can it be to communicate in English?

Although it is a dialect of English, Singlish may be difficult to understand for a speaker of another dialect of English, such as British English or American English. The main difficulties in understanding are Singlish's unique slang and syntax, which are more pronounced in informal speech.

To be honest, I miss speaking Singlish. Haha Wikipedia has even dedicated a WHOLE bluhdee section to it. I feel so proud.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singlish

Very nice lidat. Can Lor. I'm happy like bird.

I love Subway

Wow, things just keeping happening. Whizzing by, and before I realise it's happened, I've Forgotten it's happened.
Anyways, I spent the day daydreaming about (of all people), Syed, from 'The Apprentice'. Haha such a childish little spoilt brat, but so appealing at the same time. His passion, his drive, his inability to shut up! I'm rooting for him to win!! But I know Ruth will, she's got what it takes. Determination, courage, certainty. And she believes in herself. Too bad she ain't hot...:S
Just FYI, my week got a whole lot better. It's the small things that count with me I realised. The material things unfortunately. A thoughtful letter from Vimal, a sentimental card from Amrit, a random call from NZ relations, and just about five mins ago, another not so random call from the Biringham relations. I love family. Can't wait to go home and see them! :) esp you Vimaloo my spicey Vindaloo.
I had a 1.99 subway sandwich today, Italian BMT.
And I realised there's 181 calories in a packet of Salt and Vinegar potato chips.

But, I'd rather be Happy than Healthy, so screw it. :) I'll think about it when that boat sinks :) haha what a Stupid joke...but i'm laughing :P

I want to talk about how being mainstream should be fashionable. But I'm too tired. However, I Am going to redirect you to the blog of someone I find extremely insightful, articulate, and more obviously, cynical.
http://cynicscentral.blogspot.com/ by Neek (i was initially mistaken oops)

He's a friend of Lynette's and she introduced me to his site. Enjoy, sure as hell alot more 'controversial' than mine.

M.I.L.K

When we're old and grey,

that's how we'll spend the day.

Thank you baby.

Spark

All the colours are crackling, the leaves are alive

With a note from your heart I keep written inside

Frozen air surrounds your eyes

As you speak fountains collide

With a mouth full of stars I trip over my feet

You've blown me away, I can hardly speak

Stolen my silence, scattered my peace

I'm lost in the dark, mislaid my spark

Memories of you fading into the past

To keep you inside freeze your kiss so it lasts

In the shadow of your light

I live my days like they were nights

All the space that you need and the silence you plead

I've thrown them away cause your signs I can't read

Forgotten thrills in the sudden chills

Frozen air surrounds your eyes

Tides

Fuck this, I'm really sad today. I haven't done any work. I've been watching 24 all day long. I've been trying to get in contact with someone I really want to talk to but he's busy 'chilling' in his own world. I'm such a saddo when I'm left to my own devices. I hate being alone, left by myself to think. Once in a while is good, time to clear your mind, but this last year I actually led myself to believe that that was who I was, that was who I needed to be to succeed. I convinced myself that people are expendable and that we need to focus on ourselves to truly be happy. But I find myself slowly losing grip of reality the more time I spend alone. I've been like this so long that I actually began 'dread' the thought of having to allocate time to people because I thought that it'd be time inefficiently spent. But the truth is, the moment I come into contact with anyone, the time passes so quickly because I'm having fun, I'm being me in my element, I'm communicating, speaking listening laughing learning.

This week I met up with some people I truly care about, and each one of them has made me smile. They reminded me that there are people who care for my company, people who would actually make the effort to make me smile. Just because they wanted to.
Thank you.

You reminded me that I've been left on my own for too long. (and the exams sure as hell aren't helping the situation)

I want to be free. I want to let go. I want to move on. Beyond Skin.
I want to find myself.
I want to find that special place.
I want to find that one thing that just makes me smile....(currently, we've decided it's a
double JD coke...and that sure as hell can'tbe a good thing)

Hmm...What the hell is it that I actually want?
1. To be happy
2. To be loved
3. Attention
4. Affection, and loads of it.
5. To be challenged
6. To be comfortable
7. To be excited
8. To be educated
9. To listen and learn
10. To discuss
11. To be treated like the most important thing in the world
12. To be a partner
13. To be a babygirl
14. To be wise
...
15. To be understood by those that matter.

I need to figure out what I want, before I expect other people to show me what I want. This is not a Vickrey Auction, this is Life.

Also, I've just had an epiphany.
You know how women are expected to know how to raise kids when they grow up, without any prior training etc etc. Well we all do have prior training. We have boyfriends. That's when the maternal instinct starts to kick in. Together with the moments of joy, we learn to deal with disappointment, rebellion, coddling, the whole caboodle. Kids i tell you, the whole lot of them.

I'm still really sad. It's one of those lonely days where you want to be with someone who makes you feel safe and warm. But he's not there. He doesn't even know.

Mind

Something to think about,

' aape beej aape hee khavoh,Nanak hukmee aavoh jaavoh'

You harvest and eat what you sowed,

and then as per the divine laws you are subjected to the law of transmigration.

It is what you feed your eternal soul that shall accompany you to the future birth or births by the law of reincarnation.The mortal body will perish here .You shall have good or bad birth(human/animal or lower form of life) and life (with or without suffering) based on the essence of your being that you sowed during the life as a human being. To what level you raise your conciousness in this life is your only passport to good future lives ,unless of course your conciousness becomes so highly evolved that it breaks out of the cycle of reincarnation.
The food for soul is your thoughts ,that builds your character and is the driver of your ACTIONS.
The highest goal for you to achieve, is Thoughts and actions free from LUST, ANGER, GREED, ATTACHMENT, EGO.
If we take little steps towards achieving the lofty goal, I am sure sooner or later we could reach there. If not ,then at least we would be sowing better seeds. Nothing to lose anyway.
The Good Life that we are enjoying in this lifetime is a result of some good seeds sowed in the past. So make your choice, we have the power to better the stakes or flush it down the loo.

Tree

As the nature has seasons ,so does our self-Our inner milleue.

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season.The essence of who they are and can only be known by the pleasure, joy,and love that comes from that life,can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral lessons: Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later.

This is an analogy to my theory that everyone evolves at different stages of their life. What you take as a give today, will grow into something new tomorrow. There is no certainty in any path you take, so just concentrate on the present as much as you do on the goal. When we start judging people, places, things on our preconceptions of them, we fail to realise the potential or beauty that they hold. Again I don't mean this as a general statement, but expect you to use your discretion to realise to what it applies.

Besides that, I'm so uninspired to blog about anything. My life is So Ho ho hoho boring...gym library sleep internet...fullstop. HOW LAH??!? someone give me something to think about, something to ponder, something to discuss, something to explain!

Pleeeese. I'll give you a chocolate.

Yellow Highlighter

Highlight no.1 of my day, getting stuck in the lift! I was petrified because I got in on the 12th floor, expected the bloody thing to starting moving down,but no it jerked and didn't move. I was honestly thinking, oh fuck, I hope I don't plummet to my death today, I haven't finished reading Miceli!! Haha the best bit is I stood there for 3mins pressing the button for every single floor before realising, press the 'emergency' bell button. Doh! Thankfully someone was there to reset the lift...

Highlight no.2, while walking back in from lunch, I was hit by a sudden bout of terrets and exclaimed 'daddy!' (we were talking about fathers) rather loudly...just as everyone went quiet in the lobby of the library building where there were three middle-age to old men behind the counter and some people standing around waiting for the lift. They all stared at me coz I sounded like some prossie who'd encountered her sugar daddy after three years or something...according to Sevi a couple of the security guards looked more excited than surprised. Why did I say daddy, no reason really...just felt like saying it out loud. *malu*

Highlight no.3, I welcome Vimal to the world of blogging!! I'm so excited that you have a blog because you honestly have the most entertaining life...forget glamorous lah..haha :)

Highlight no.4, (the highlight of my life everyday altho he really deserves a good knock on the head once in a while) one Mr. Amritpal Singh. Slowly lah, Stinky, slowly...

Highlight no.5, my Yellow Highlighter! I love it la...no other colour compares...

The pupil in Denial

To elaborate on my last post, I wouldn't want to be the kind of mother who's life revolves around smothering her kids, neither would I want to be the kind of mother who resents her kids for making her quit her job. Hence, find that rich guy, get him to give you a business. That was the key point of the plan...if things go wrong, he'll bail you out, if things go right...wahey! you don't need him anymore...something small init, like a cafe/restaurant/beauty parlour/tution agency/interior decorating...the list could go on...

I'm sure we've all learnt at some stage of our lives, don't ever let yourself be at the mercy of another human being, let alone a man. We've been brought up in a day and age where everyone needs to look out for themselves. No one can afford to be nice, because if you do, then prepared to be taken advantage of. If you take this into account before deciding to be nice, then you're a regular Mother Teresa and I rate you. We see it in uni, we see it at work, we see it everywhere. and to be honest, it's the advice I give people as well. You need to love those around you and be willing to be there for them all the time, but at the same time, you gotta look out for your own interests. The moment you start living your life for someone else, you lose that valuable time that you could've spent making your life better, and in turn making you a happier person, which then reflects on the rest of society. That's why they stress time-management and prioritising. I don't mean be selfish...there's a lot of subtlety involved in the advice I give to people.

My advice for surviving in today's society:

1. Tell people what they want to hear, in a way that still allows you to do what you want.
2. At work, Be liked by everyone, but be noone's friend.
3. Don't be jealous of those who 'suck-up', learn from them and realise that you could get what they get, but by it in a less 'sick' way. Gives you an advantage.
4. Hold tenderly that which you cherish.
5. There's no harm in telling white lies, but only if you are certain it is for the greater good and are aware of the consequences.
6. Have faith in yourself and your abilities, because no one knows you the way you do.
7. But on the flipside, Always be open to criticism.
8. And the point I stress the most, be Adaptable. People may call you fake, may say she's a hypocrite, behaving one way with some people and another with others, but So What...they're just jealous of a skill that is so hard to attain. A skill that allows you to be comfortable in your skin, but not stereotyped into one 'genre' of people. Flexibility gives you that opportunity to learn.

As human beings we are forever learning. Too quickly we like to label ourselves (we always complain that others give us labels, but we're guilty of it too) We need to feel that we belong to something, to feel secure. One of my pet peeves (even though I KNOW I'm guilty of it too) is when people are not open to trying new things, or to trying to appreciate something before they judge it. Example, I Hate brinjals yuck...but i couldn't remember how they tasted yet I still wouldn't have any. So one day someone served me a dish and it was divine, when I later asked what it was, she said...Brinjals! I nearly had a heart attack, but later thought, wow, I was really missing out one something good by being picky and petty.

Again, I'm not saying that we aren't allowed to have our likes and dislikes, what I am saying is that decisions we've made about htings and people when we were younger, do not necessarily still hold now. Every so often, you gotta expose yourself to new and old things again to realised if you're still the same person. We grow and evolve everyday. So do our thoughts, our preferences our goals etc....and the only way we can truly learn how to appreciate life and the people around us is by being open to learning about each and everyone of their different ways. Of Accepting that it's easier to hate than to love something, so why not face up to the challenge and learn to love more...
ok i think i'm yabbling (amrit's new word)...but this is an interesting concept I shall expand on later...

Ideal

The showers in halls are not working, and I've just been in the library and to the gym! I stink and feel sticky and I do not know how i'm going to sleep peacefully feeling all icky and gross.
Anyways, today was a marathon study session...10hrs...sat on my ass straight for 5 hrs as well...i'm so proud of myself :) hopefully it all pays off in the end. Loadsa other peeps are still having a good time going out and all that, but I keep forgetting, they don't have 8 exams!

Besides that, haven't really been up to much. Just library, gym and back. highlight of the day is lunch in the afternoon...normally head to ULU for the same old same old...I was craving some cheesy Nacho's from the 'Duck n Dive' but they won't be serving food during easter...bugger. :S

Anyways, today's mental struggle was WHY the hell i chose to be an academic instead of a pretty housewife.

Amrita: " Yeah I'll probably work for a few years and then settle down and have kids"
Anuradha: "Why?"
Amrita: "Oh shit yeah, Why? after all the hours i'm spending in the library now..."

Would be pretty stupid to give it all up after all the hardwork and sacrifice i've made to get this far. But aiyah, how I wanna chill for some of my life as well. From spending 10hrs a day in the library to try and get good grades in university, to spending 10hrs a day in an office trying to earn money to spend in the 2hrs I get off after work to go out before going to bed....where's the punchline?

I could've spent those very hours in the gym, learning how to cook/clean/sew/garden? And trust me, I ain't feminist enought to complain about them being 'surpressive' jobs...Rather, it'd be my ideal lifestyle. Become fit, marry a rich man, get him to buy me a 'small' business, and then run it from the confines of my comfortable mansion. Have loads of kids, become a tai tai, spend time with my lovely ladies playing mah jong or having high tea, throwing parties. Being a friendly socialite. :)

I would find it fulfilling. Finding the time to give back to society at the expense of my husband of course ;)

But we know that's not the way it is, and that's not the way it's going to be so, make the best of it init. Since I made the mistake of going to RGS (the root of the problem) I may as well live up to be being an academic. The least I can do is try...

Still Cruising

ok the beginning of the end starts tomorrow. Count down of exactly one month till the first paper of my last set of exams!! I just went through everything I have to study before then, and it's shitloads...i'm so screwed...don't think i've ever had to study this much in my life...:S anyways, it's a refreshing change. Some of my mates are going on holiday to Madrid tomorrow, I very nearly went with them...Thank God I decided to be lazy and backed out...however, It was my brilliant foresight that led me to realise that i'd be in this predicament now. *pat on the back* good thinking amz! :)

On a not so exciting note, I think I have issues with commitment and relationships. I get too attached, I expect too much, I get scared, I push away...I like to test things and people I care about, just waiting for them to crack. I'm scared it'll break anyways, so I keep trying to speed up the process without realising that i'm the one smashing it against the wall. Maybe I'm destined to forever want that drama that'll lead to the tres tragique end of my soap opera life...and when it finally happens, I'll wonder why. Like a fooool...sigh. It's nearing the 27th of the month again isn't it? (refer to previous post around this time last month)

These are the lyrics of one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a while...

For The Windows In Paradise, For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti
Sufjan Stevens

I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is their to answer if I'm the only one?
Mo(u)rning comes in paradise, mo(u)rning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.

If there's anything to say, If there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you.

I was dressed embarassment I was dressed in whine.
If you had a part of me, will you take your time?
Even if I come back, even if I die.
Is there some idea to replace (erase?) my life?

Like a father to impress, like a mother's morning dress
If (I) you ever make a mess, I'll do anything for you.

I have called you preacher, I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven't none.

I'll do anything for you, I'll do anything for you,
I'll do anything for you, I'll do anything for you
I did everything for you, I did everything for you,
I did everything for you, I did everything for you,
I did everything for you, I did everything for you.

Bored as hell

I can't believe I chose to stay in on a Friday night. It just goes against every grain of my being. I did my work, and now i'm bored out of my wits. And I can't talk to anyone coz they've all gone out or are in a different time zone and are sleeping. AND I've had the same song on loop for the last three hours , 'Ahankara Nagare' a singhalese tune so kindly introduced to my by Harleen. Anyways the options for tonight were to go to Soho spice, Crush, some end of term soas party or drinking at the pub..ALL OF Which I turned down because I promised a special someone I wasn't going out anymore. At least I feel good that I kept to my word.

Anyways, on a more conclusive note, It was my last academic day in uni today....Last tutorial. Over. Another Chapter of the book of my life completed. And i was like whaaaaat, is that it! what an anti-climax!!! I'm not even out celebrating. God knows what's happened to me...anyways, every fibre in my body is looking forward to the 25th of May...:):):)

In fact, I was talking to Lynette about this other day. How similar we RGS girls turned out in terms of what we want outta life and how we perceive things etc etc, but also how different we all are to when we first met. I was reminded of how I use to be the 'crazy single one always up for anything' and now i turn everything down without thinking twice....I wonder why that is.
I said its coz I used up my 'party' cards early in life and now i'm left with a hand of 'study' and 'worry'. haha ruuubbbiish...wait till uni ends...i'm getting my life back.

Things I wanna do once I graduate:
1. Get my driving licence
2. Go Ministry in Singapore
3. Go on a beach Holiday
4. Spend a day in a SPa
5. Buy a tiny portable video camera and document everything I do
6. Get pisssseeed with my girlies
7. Get high
8. Go shopping and buy a whole new wardrobe, inclusive of shoes and accesories
9. Go to Paris
10. Got to Manchester
11. My plan is to travel every weekend, try a new club and take a picture in front of Nando's at every destination
12. Organise a fundraiser event
13. Get to know Harleen, Vimal and Sanveen again like I used to
14. Start meeting up with friends again
15. Watch westend plays
16. Learn Spanish
17. Go to NEW YORK!
18. Jet Skiing again/Skiing
19. Start a travel blog like farzina's! www.elmundofarzina.blogspot.com
20. Start living life like there's no tomorrow, because you never know when the end is (in a positive way :P)

All seem trivial and easy but I just never get around to doing anything coz i'm lazy lazy lazy....


















Pictures courtesy of Arun's trip to South America last year...
The world is so beautiful...

Just to Clarify

I just quickly want to note that this blog is not a discussion about Sikhism as such, but I use it as the base to understanding what the 'bigger picture' is as it is the faith closest to home. At the same time, I'm trying to learn more about and understand Sikhism, as I feel that it would be the appropriate thing to do before exploring the similarities/differences with other faiths. I will only be justified in reflecting one upon another if I know what it is I am reflecting in the first place.

Fundamentals

Today I was studying in the library when a lovely young girl I know came and sat with me. She's muslim, and I am Sikh. We started discussing the differences and similarities between our faiths.
And since Sikhism is not as widely understood as Islam, she was surprised at how similar our beliefs are. It made me happy inside to feel that two people with completely different backgrounds could discuss our different paths so openly and yet feel completely in touch with the reality of the same destination.

When we started talking, she had many questions and I told her that I am not one that can give you all the accurate answers because I'm still learning myself, but nonetheless we reached a consensus that even across boundaries, love, ethics, patience, humility and morals are the keys to being succesful humans and followers of faith.

But she posed me a very interesting question, being a student of political history (or something along those lines). What defines good? If we truly believe we are doing what is right, who can tell us that we're wrong? If the world started off preaching killing/harming etc etc as the 'right' way to do things, would we believe that now? Does it matter?
Her example of Hitler was one, he honestly believed what he was doing was 'Good' and 'Righteous'. Why did the rest of us feel it was wrong? How could we get the point across to him that the rest of us believed he was wrong?

haha I thought at that stage, allow, we're living in the present. We should accept what is considered as 'good' by society now...and live accordingly. But then I thought, many of us justify what we want to justify as good, so our impressions of such are skewed. Like I think going out and having a good time clubbing is Good because I'mhaving a laugh and being happy. But I know some others that would beg to differ, saying it's a waste of time and dancing doesn't benefit you in any way (i'm exclduing alcohol in this). So who's right?

Anyways, this goes out to any Sikh reading this who knows, Do Sikhs at any stage mention Abraham, Gabriel or the 'prophets'?
And did Guru Nanak Dev Ji at any stage have a conversation with God?
I'm just wondering because she asked me at one point, so how come Guru Nanak Ji started 'preaching' Sikhism....was it from his own belief or was he a messenger of God...and to be honest, I didnt' know how to answer that question?

Lost Weekend

This weekend has lived up to its name. The Lost weekend.

I went to Nottingham! finally after hearing so much about it. The nightlife that is. Besides that it's a normal town, very similar to leicester. We made it up for Nottingham for Divya's 21st birthday. She was celebrating with her beloved boyfrined, Sunil. They had a massive house party followed by clubbing at a reknowned club in Notts, aptly entitled 'Lost Weekend'. The company was great, the champagne was flowing and the weed was smelly. I met up with the two funniest girls I know...Kajal Shah and Kushla Gopal. (hahahah They don't speak eeenglis by the way.) I miss our Goldman days and am definitely looking forward to many more good times!
I think we oughta have more house parties, that was I think the first and biggest house party I've been to in the UK. Everyone was friendly, chatty, relaxed and just out to have a good time. A completely different atmosphere from a stink old club where you can't hear a word the next person is saying, and are even more likely to not know what the next person even looks like.
The place looked like it'd been hit by a tsunami when every had left. There were pools of alcohol on the floor, rubbish all around the joint, leftover pizza boxes...you get the picture. haha I suddenly just remembered Dhiren doing a slippery slide moonwalk in the kitchen,before tripping and nearly knocking the breakfast counter over!! hahaha where's a video camera when you need one!

Anyways, there was just so much happening over the weekend, but we obviously spent most of our time in Nottingham in Divya's room on the bed/floor/chair. When we finally decided to get our lazy asses up,(thanks to an inspiring decision to go to Nando's for some hangover curing munch) we got ready and headed down to a taxi that had been pre-booked. With a mission in mind, upon being asked by the taxi driver where we wanted to go, simultaneously replied, "Take us to NANDO's please!" [I must inform you, there was no prior rehearsal involved as there was for many other incidents this weekend ;)] The cab driver thought we were mad, but we honestly hadnt' a clue about anything or where nando's even was because none of us had been to Nottingham before. But the sweetie cabbie attempted to make a few calls around (and so did we) and got us there in the end. We gave him and extra 20p for his brilliant detective work.

Furthermore, we realised that Kajal's photography skills are impeccable. Abstract? Basically, I asked her to take a picture of me and this is what we got....guess where I am? Hint: spot the nose.


But anyways to cut a long story short, Nottingham was wicked.
I came back and watched 7 episodes of season 2 of "Lost."
And now I'm just waiting for night to fall so I can start my life in the library again first thing tomorrow morning.

On a side note, I lost the plot with stinky again, the poor boy...I should really cut him some slack... but as we new-age Rafflesian women go, never satisfied till we've a rock on our finger, a butler in the parlour, ferrari parked out front and the vote in our favour. [joking la, don't stress baby. We can have zinger's for our reception dinner.]

Elongated

so weird, i can't view my own blog?
forbidden access....
Do they dislike my taste in music that much?

Your Body - Tom Novy

aaah tuuunee....
Arun says a bad website is one with background music. haha Good point though, people will already have they're music on and it just clashes. But with good music like this, I suggest you turn the **** you're listening to off...and tangkap, even if just for a minute.

Completely out of it...a.k.a Blur like Sotong

Oh dear, i'm having the ditziest week of the century, just keeping forgetting to do things or not thinking before I act...need to focus! :S *shakes head*
Like yesterday, I walked the 10mins it takes to get into uni, handed in my coursework, and was heading toward the library BEFORE I realised that I left the huge file I was going to use to study at home...sounds minor, but it was such a mission to get it.
Plus today I was the laziest ass and didn't get up for my 8o'clock. Now I just don't feel like studying full stop.


Anyways, before I forget, these are a few links I'd like to share:

www.foosabooks.com
- Recently created by a dear friend of mine, Varun Punjabi the dada. An easy way to buy/sell university textbooks etc. Created by uni students for uni students, I reckon it'll be quite useful for us in the UK. I'm going to have loads of textbooks to sell at the end of this year.

www.pandora.com
Like wow, talk about technology being intelligent. I've always imagined creating one of these and was as disappointed as pleasantly surprised when I checked out this link. Being a music buff, but not really one to stand in HMV and listen to different soundtracks just for the sake of it, this cuts my 'search' time into nothing and gives me the opportunity to listen to random tracks from the same genre of music....if you don't like a song, just skip ahead. Beautiful, smooth and sleek. The website is seamless. (only prob is you need an american zip code to create a free account, hopefully entering any five digit number should do the trick!)

www.facebook.com
If you're a student in the UK or US sign up!!! A wonderful way to waste many hours. But something a parent definitely would love. I'm sure my mom would use it as a new way of searching for an eligible doctor from California for her daughter (oldest not meee). Reason being it screens for university students, cuts her job in half.

erm there's more but i can't remember!!!

Current obsessions:
1. 24 (the series)
2. Red bull
3. Yellow Highlighters
4. Sevi the wise owl
5. Surprisingly not the gym
6. My bed.


ok off to Econs of the Law lectures. I hope everyone's being more productive than they set out to be!

Je sui desolee

Ok the donnie darko song is too depressing, sorry jaanu...I miss you too!!!
Anyways, my current favourite song is 'Sorry' by Madonna. SOOO all of you watch the video at the bottom of the page, part of it was filmed on my street!!! and i saw them filming!!! i.e. the cafe and the laundromat!!!

Anyways, tonight we're off to Crush...it's bhangra/school disco night and the whole crews' getting together for the first time in ages! Our lovely Dhruv is back from Sweden...let's get him pissed swedish meatball style...:)

Hopefully someone will be smart/willing enough to take a camera and take pics!!

Enjoy the tuuuuneeee

Crazy world we're living in

Walking through the gorgeous UCL quad on the way to the library to begin my day cooped up underground with my best friends, Miceli and Borjas, I was just soaking in the beauty of the outdoors when I noticed a hideous paper mache statue of an evil looking boy sticking out his middle finger and with his other hand grabbing his crotch! The paper mache lifesize statues was completely BRIGHT ORANGE as well so there's no way I wouldn't have spotted it. Outside the slade school of art, right under a gorgeous yet leafless tree! At that point, it reaffirmed my current view on life. People are just using excuses to express themselves in negative ways. Everyone's bored of appreciating the good in life and it's fashionable to be 'Bad'. But what are their true incentives, don't tell me these 'faeceas-throwing' porno-artistic pieces of art are substantially justified. How do people actually 'Appreciate' them as art?
All we're doing is living in a world where one person advocates a negative thought in order to evoke some sort of an emotion from the people around him. What has lead us to become a attention whoring society?
What actually started me on this traing of thought was watching The Apprentice (UK version wtih Alan Sugar) a couple of days ago. There was one REEAAALLLYYY annoying chick called Jo, who wouldn't shut up, wouldn't stop to listen to anyone else, chose to refute decisions, and the list goes on...The brilliance of the matter is that, Alan Sugar actually praised her! What he said was that he appreciated an aggressive business person who wasn't afraid to stand her ground and challenge those around her. Ok fair enough, I agree with this point, but does that mean individuals should feel comfortable agreeing to disagree all the time. Are people walking down a path where advocating instigation is the way forward. Does everyone fail to realise that although progress stems from conflict, it is not necessary to voluntarily invoke and advocate this conflict? Since when is a Good Leader someone who barks orders at you rather than involves you.
Where are the TV censors?! Where has common sense gone?!
Why do we fail to realise that every step forward we take by being a bitch, we are actually falling two steps behind in being human.
All these questions I ask are in the positive sense, (v. normative).

The conflict is between succeeding with a goal, and just floating along following the wind.
Hence I remind myself of Miri and Piri.
What I understand from this is the concept of remaining spiritual and fulfilling your transcendental obligations (Piri) while simulatneously making the best of your temporal state (Miri). According to the Sikh concept of oneness of Miri and Piri, sovereignty in both domains (spiritual and temporal) is not distinguishable. It is not unity of Miri and Piri, but it is oneness of the both. That is to say, We need to make the most out of life, but we should not fail to take heed of the teaching's of our Gurus. More importantly, we should not lose sight of our fundamental ethics and morals.

Be unto others the way you would want them to be to you.

Panic

I can feel it slowly engulfing me. From moment I wake up, the clock within starts ticking, waiting for the alarm to go in seven weeks. The final countdown to the climax of the univeristy chapter of my life. I have so much work to do and can't seem to get my head around all of it. I've been keeping up to date, doing the reading's, doing the courseworks, revising and everything else a normal nerd would do, but I STILL feel like i'm so behind and i won't have sufficient time to put myself in a position to ace the exams this year. I haven't got the time and energy to think about anything else. I've organised what I need to do, now i just have to stop worrying about if i'm spending too much time studying one subject at the expense of another.

Focus, Drive and Determination.
Do the best I can.
God is on my side (i hope :S)

I have nothing to prove to anyone, because I know what I'm putting in, and at the rate it's going, I better get what I deserve! Please let the hardwork pay off...

Subjects to Conquer:
1. Urban Economics
2. Economics of the Law
3. Industrial Economics: Market Structures
4. Industrial Relations
5. Economics of Information
6. Environmental Economics
7. Labour Economics
8. Financial Computing

aaah I know I can do it, i know i can!!!
I'm much more prepared this year than i was at this stage last year, please please please let that mean that i'll do much better!

oh no, and I still have to go the gym ;s....haven't been for a few days and and i'm already throwing the love handles a welcome home banquet.


Anyways, enough ranting.
wish me luck!

Emotional

This is for my baby, if you ever do read my blog...I miss you.

DIANA DEGARMO LYRICS

"Emotional"

Sometimes I get emotional

Sometimes I do some stupid things

Sometimes I say what I should just keep inside

Sometimes I'm sad about everything

Sometimes I'm mad and break some things

Sorry times 10 but you just got in the way

Don't give up now running away

I won't hurt you Sometimes I'm just a pain

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying

Laying down and dying

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me

That's when I feel emotional

You say I'm just impossible

Totally unpredictable

I'm just a girl get use to it

No big deal

You can't change me why would you try?

I'm no angel but I can make you smile

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying

Laying down and dying

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me

That's when I feel emotional

Don't give up (and run away)

I won't hurt you

Oh, sometimes I'm just a pain

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me

That's when I feel oh yeah

That's when I need you

Sometimes I get emotional

Mooniemooniemoooonie. MOON!

The first words spoken on the moon, by Neil Armstrong, are well known, but what were the last words spoken from the moon on that first trip?

"America's challenge of today has forged man's destiny of tomorrow." - Commander Eugene Cernan, Apollo 17 Mission, 11 December 1972.

Aiyah cannot make it lah,"That's one small step for man but one giant leap for mankind." was so much more worth remembering!

Like Clockwork.

Every month around the 27th, I get moody and contemplative. Why, you may ask. My answer, I am not sure. These are just thoughts that enter my mind fleetingly. I choose not to dwell on them because I know now's not the time. I wish I had a year out after university to discover myself. AND TO GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE!!!!

The thoughts that went through my head today:
1. Why do I think the thoughts I think?
2. Does God know that I think these thoughts and if so Does he also know that I condemn some of my own thoughts? i.e. that I am aware and ashamed of some of the silly passing comments I make in my head.
3. Am I wasting my time?
4. Will I achieve all that I want to in the short time I have to live?
5. How and what are my priorities? And Can I say for sure that what I'd imagine them to be are really what would make me happy?
6. Do we have a SUB-sub-conscious mind? And if so, Why and What is it? Reason I ask this is because I always think my thoughts in layers. I'll think something, and simultaneously I'll think shit I shouldn't be thinking that. (basically same point as q2 la.)
7. Do I take God for Granted even though he's at the back of my mind most of the time? Am I thinking of him for the wrong reasons? I.e. to prove something to someone, to belong, to prove something to myself? I do believe in and love God, but are my intentions pure and when will I know if they are?
8. Will being in love with someone across the seas cause me to miss out on experiences I might have had otherwise, and even if I did, would it be for my own good?
9. Where do I truly belong?


Is anyone as lost as I am, I'd like to have a dialogue with someone confused.


As an afterthought, The Answer is CHOCOLaTe! and I don't care what the question is.

In your FACE html!!!

Score: [Amrita:1 Html:76]

Action: Rejoicing and running through the streets with thick glasses on and
a pocket calculator shoved in the breast-pocket of a tweed jacket I may or may not own!

Reason for joy: I added a tagboard to my blog!

Comments: I don't think anyone will understand the feeling of accomplishment I am now
experiencing!

Learning HTML

http://feeds.feedburner.com/brainyquote/QUOTEBR

The one good thing about blogging is that it has inspired me to learn HTML...I need to get with the times and stop being so dependent on my pen and paper pad. Old school clerk stylee. Thus far I have got nowhere I must say, besides learning to change the colour of differnt parts of my webpage. I did however learn how to use Visual Basic (an Excel language), which might be of some use to me in the future when I need to organise my millions of dollars, from shading dealing investments in dog tracks, car-racing, and the marketing of faulty ice-cube makers.
This is my attempt at becoming 'techonologically savvy'. I can just about hear the wind saying, " leave it to the boys, you're useless".

Here's a couple of links that may be useful:
1. http://www.htmldog.com/guides/htmlbeginner/
2. http://mygen.co.uk/index.php?page=tutorials&section=flashplayer1


Which reminds me, I promised my dad AGES ago that I'd whip up an informal website for his clinics...aiyah. :S

Questioning

http://feeds.feedburner.com/brainyquote/QUOTEBR

Yay I hope the quote works.

Do we only question what is wrong or at times what we consider Right as well? For example, on a more macro level, Why do we believe in God? Is he just a man sitting in the clouds or an undescribable force of energy? Does anyone know, Will anyone ever find out?
Life is like a huge puzzle, a maze if you like. You keep walking and searching, trying different corners and turns. Hitting a road block and having to back track at times. But once you reach the end, once you finally make it, the game is over. You've won. Once we find the answer to 'our maze' we'll be done. We'll get the grand prize. We need to learn from our mistakes. That is why I believe we need to question to learn.

What about blind faith?
A lot of us believe that we Are Not meant to question God. He does to you what you are meant to deserve and it would be 'Rude' to question his intentions etc. This is where the I must emphasize what I mean by questioning. This is where alot of people go wrong (in my opinion), and I admit, I have been through and still do go down this path time and time again. Questions must be derived from a place of learning. Once you have accepted that you're asking a question for the reason of actually learning something, then only will you benefit. Many people suck them selves into an endless spiral of questioning trivial matters consistently, 'Why was he mean' Why is he doing this to me' Why Why Why....When you ask a question, be prepared to wait, listen and learn from the answer. Then you won't have to ask the question again. Blindly following a set of rules or regulations stipulated by the 'Guru's' ages ago is justified and it does give you a clear conscience and a set of disciplines to abide by. But then the beauty of questioning and learning from these rules helps make the whole experience of following them so much more meaningful and wholesome. A blatant example would be to pray everyday. You could do it in Punjabi (and not understand) or you could do it in English, and know what you're actually meditating upon.

"The founder of the Sikh religion, Guru Nanak was born on April 15, 1469 in the Western Punjab village of Talwandi. He was born to a simple Hindu family. His father Mehta Kalian Das was an accountant in the employment of the local Muslim authorities. From an early age Guru Nanak made friends with both Hindu and Muslim children and was very inquisitive about the meaning of life. At the age of six he was sent to the village school teacher for schooling in reading and writing in Hindi and mathematics. He was then schooled in the study of Muslim literature and learned Persian and Arabic. He was an unusually gifted child who learned quickly and often questioned his teachers."

From this we can learn that, if you ask the right questions and learn from them, We'll be able to do great things.

Move forward with an open mind. Be ready to discuss. Be ready to listen. Be ready to learn.

Meditation

What is the exact line of discussion...modern day meditation techniques,or the samadhi or dhyan of sikhism?

Actually, there is no perfectly suited word in english language for these two,meditation is the nearest.
Buddist' Zen'style of meditation actully originated from' Dhyan' of Vedic times,
Dhyan means focus on the inner senses "Anta-Karan",the inner-self,where in lies a hidden powerful inner sense ,which when accessed connects one to the pre-mordial eternal energy of "Nada' sound or wavelength or frequency or whatever you may call it.Its in this state the great saints herd the inner sound of AUM..........; The reveleations.....The inner melodies(which Guru ji has mentioned in the Bani of Anand(Bliss)Sahib-Anand bhayaa meri maa'e,Satguru main paaya,Satguru ta paaya man mere man vajeean vadhaayeean Raag ratan parivar bhareean shabad gaavan aayeean...)
When a person is in the truly' Dhyan' state ,his external senses are temporarily all disconnected from external world of senses and they are all fully focussed inawards.
To understand Dhyana you will need to grasp the concept of MIND.
The whole story is of taming the monkey mind which by nature is highly unstable,in a constant fluctuating state..Man jeete jag jeet...Aye mana mereya! tu sadaa raho har(god) nale,har naal raho tu man mere dookh sabh visaarna.......
You must have heard of the concept 'man marna'(Kill the mind),empty your mind,clean your mind,....Our mind is like a highly sophisticated computer diskette...if you have already a recording there then you cant record over it.To do so you will have to erase the previuos content and reformat it.Similarly,those who desire to practice Dhyana,they have to prepare their mind first with such thoughts that will make it easier for them to go inward,with concepts and things the mind will want to wander and connect to when going inward,otherwise it'll keep coming back to the external sensual world thoughts by default,for it knows nothing else and it's comfortable for it go back there.
The same principle mind applies for habbits,addictions,attachments,fear,and other learned behaviour.To break it out of its mould you have to teach it with a whip of discipline.
Initially the practice of 'Dhyana' might reward you of such a state of Bliss(Ananda)for fractions of a second only,slowly building up to just a second or two or max a miserable few moments.But if done regurly it will definitely show better rewards
' Dhyan' done with love for lord in the heart ,with deep devotion,no doubts,no expectations,no frustration, done by such people who have first managed to clean up their heart and mind of pollution (of bad or negative thoughts,)and who respect their body as the one and only sacred vehicle or instrument of Liberation or connection to God's essence (and thus believing keeping it healthy and all senses fully funtional,)
Bani says our Conciosness needs uplifting Through Bramh gian(sacred knowledge of the nature of the Self and the gods creation).
For this we need to fine tune our intellect(IQ for surviving in the world,EQ for dealing with the social and personal aspect and peace of mind and stability (being the cool dude):and SQ for the spiritual factor for the skills to know and unveil The Truth/The Reality of the Supreme Transcedental /The Parbrahmn-The Cosmic mind(THE JEEVA MANA IS THE INDIVIDUAL HUMAN MIND)/The Paramatman-The eternal Omnipresent Soul essense of god(The jeeva atman being the individual human soul which is the latent tiny spark connecting the entire world with god).
Now it is this spark that grows and makes saints of ordinary people.

So the question now is how to awaken this dormant energy lying within every soul.The secret to this is 'The Thought Power' acc to bani.Those who have good,kind,sharing,caring,non violent,non lustin,non greedy,non attaching,Loving,,just,and such good thoughts are happy and grounded people who are not afraid to share ,help,loose out,or selfish----fearless and without enemity.Such people can be poor or filthy rich.....its the thoughts that set them apart.They are satisfied with their lot and go out of the way to reach out to others and carry the love of selfless contribution to others.

Sikhism has the concept ff Miri-Piri(Saint-Soldier) or SAHAJ-which is akin to the balanced person of modern day .Scientifically,(IQ)left and right brain balanced people;(EQ)people who have very developed pre frontal cortex emotionally balanced as well:(SQ) and those who are deeply devoted to God and live a spiritually correct life.
To know what is this spiritually correct life you will need to do your daily japa.have a Tapa(Determination and discipline in your life of following the spiritually correct life).
Hope this will put you on the path of exploring more Truths.

Black Magic
It actually means negative energies that harm yhe mind ,Body and Soul.
Only the weak minded are susceptible to it.A weak mind is that which is very superficial,only carrying the sensual external world energies ,devoid of powerful inner energies.Inner energies are build up with good thoughts(vichaar) and good intellect(budhi)and strengthen the connection to god essence by constant japa.
Black magic cannot harm inner pwer of mind ,it only affects the external mind.So one needs to build on that to deflect any such attack.
There is one sakhi in which one of our Guru's tried to give this message by deflecting all the wutches attacks of black magic just by sitting at the river bank and praying while the witches attacked him from across the banks.
If your mind is afraid or fearful that it is going to be affected by the B.M. then it sure will.By doing so the mind is actually attaching itself to the wavelenth of the attack and unknowingly attracts it ,by making itself weaker it lets itself br taken over by the attack..depending on how strong is the attack.
MInd is constantly doubting your own capabilities and setting limits and manifesting that limit for itself.Beleive in yourself,think positive,ignore and reprimand and even banish them if you want set higher limits.
In sikhism the concept of :"Chardi Kala"is way to tackle this.IT means always aim higher,think positive,never cry over the past and move on ,dont despair or feel sad or depressed.You will start a vicios circle by attracting more of such negativity in your life.What frequency you put yourself at is what you are going to attract in the universe.It all boils down to your thoughts and the inner mind strength and having a chat line established with god at all times.God connects to those who exist at a similar range of frequency as him, the rest unfortunately are responsible for cutting themselves out of his range of grace.ITs peoples own actions(Karma)that bring them closer to god or keep them away from his grace...karmi apo apni ke nere ke door...jini naam dhiaaya gaye masakat ghaal...(those who do japa and maintain the inner thought level or frequency as he wants ,their hard work never goes unrewarded)
Nanak naam chardi kala tere bhane sarbat da bhalla...Nanak says that NAAM(god ) always remians in chardi kala mode and his desire and will never has any thoughts of harm or punishment or suffering for anyone for he has only love and good for all his creation.So it's the creation which is responsible for bringing the suffering on itself'People dont realise this and go on and on......why me,what did I do to be punushed in this way,Why I am always so unlucky,I'll complain to god;If god is so good then why there is so much suffering in the world;when peoples desires sre not fulfilled they curse god or forsake him,and so on.This is done in IGNORANCE.....not understanding the true nature of god and the TRUTH.